(edited 14 Oct 07 – see “tool” I discovered)
Let’s put it this way – I have been traveling my bit over the world and peeking into local entertainment to continue my human studies. Obviously in Bangkok I obtained my PHD. No comments, right!? But now I feel I have to update my courses.
Since 1980 I have seen here an incredible evolution in the attitude of Chinese regarding “social interacting” and married life. Living next door the biggest club in town, Destination, “to spend your queerer kuai” (sic – China Daily) and “where the crowd is almost exclusively y-chromosome-possessing” (That’s Beijing). OK, if you guys did not get it yet, it’s a big gay club, packed so much on weekends that it spills over to Gongti Xilu. Once going there with my better half, the lady selling the tickets asked her if she realized it was a gay bar. Of course we know, silly you, the maid of our best friend moonlights there in the vestiaire. We landed there on their anniversary party and we promptly got two mugs with their logo. Better not use those in business meetings, might give some hints where to find me in late nights.
So, Beijing as I knew once, changed. But poor Gilbert still had no clue. I do like a good sauna house and massage. We have our own massage ladies across the street (Liuzheng Massage Clinic), excellent professionals and they come to our home to repair my body from the training schedule – preparing for the next Beijing marathon. I find myself in my bedroom alone with not less than 5 ladies. If your imagination goes astray, stop there. Me plus wife plus daughter and three massage ladies, OK!
My preferred sauna house is 5 minutes walk – Pacific Ocean Club. I learned about this entertainment novelty less than two years ago. I just love it. A huge building, huge sauna area (one for ladies and one for men). Families go there sometimes with the kids and everybody meets (in pajama, courtesy of the Club) in the restaurant for a Chinese buffet. You can relax in the large (mixed) relax room for a foot and leg massage, and watch TV on your personal flat screen. Or you go watch the show between 9 and 12 pm (with foot massage if you want). Or rent a room to have a choice of massages. All pretty “clean”. Some Chinese rent a room to play mahjong. The staff, particularly the masseuses are friendly (not yet used to that in Beijing), OK, they don’t speak a word of English and so my Chinese is improving a bit. It’s all is pretty cheap, some clever Chinese just go there for the night instead of a much more expensive hotel room. Yes, breakfast is served too. A unique experience – I see sometimes small tourist groups go there for the experience. Lots of stuff you can do there, too long to list. Real fun.

For the inexperienced in Beijing, those clubs are a rather safe choice – never follow the touts who promise “special massage”. At your own risk. And probably much more expensive.
My daughter had to invent some business plan for a summertime course at Beida (Beijing University) and for some reason she chose outsourcing of massage (I know, weird family). So the whole family did a study on massage in Beijing.
Poor Gilbert, naive laowai from Belgium.
OK, the ads in the newspapers look sometimes a bit “appealing” but I really never guessed.
See here some snippets from Beijing and Shanghai ads in reputable magazines and newspapers:
“Lost Paradise – Blossom Baby – Sweet Dream – Charlies Angels – Ardour Touching – young and excellent masseuses and masseurs – royal oil massage by two ladies – buttocks massage – prostate care (or maintenance) – kidney treatment – in your hotel room or at home – 24hrs – sensuous pleasure massage – minority student (needs translation here… nothing to do with China’s Minorities!).
Wait a moment – prostate maintenance? So, I asked what Traditional Chinese Medicine that was. Oops. Says my wife, “don’t you know? That’s ED treatment”. Look, I show you the websites. OK, from here on censorship has to move in. Kids, time to go to bed!
ED, ED, what is that? Wife: no lift-off. Needs exercise. It’s all in the training, you see. You have to maintain all this in good working order. Well, there is of course also ED with flute music. Wife adds: not real flute, you silly. Just think how one plays the flute! Oops. Hey! What about equal opportunities, no discrimination? Wife: well, there is something like picking the lotus. But I don’t find it right here on my web search.

OK… I really have to stop here.
So it seems those places are all advertised on the web and also contribute to the torrent of sex spam we get every day. Wife: well, if you go there you need to see an ID to get into the nice apartments (pictures available on the web). Matter of being sure who comes there, you see what I mean. Wife: look, handsome boys too. Big muscle. Here he shows auto-ED-treatment.
Oh boy. Beijing 2006. Wife: I think Beijing is getting more “choices” than Bangkok. Anyway, same 5 minutes walk I can have genuine Thai ladies giving oil massage (Bodhi Massage House – very nice place). Bangkok is coming to Beijing.
Well, I’ll keep it simple. I prefer my 5 ladies in the bedroom or the girls of Pacific Ocean torturing my feet while they smile, chat with me and I drink my Yanjing Pijiu (15 non-queer kuai).
Cheers. Welcome to Beijing!