We appeal to Hollywood to follow the good example of China. Films should reflect on the positive sides of the country. Hollywood movies show too improper aspects of the USA: high criminality, gun fights, slow or corrupt police, dirty streets with rusting cars, graffiti, laundry drying on balconies, people playing cards on the streets, violent scenes, so many ugly things. Hollywood should promote abroad the image of the USA. Why not show only modern buildings, clean neighborhoods (Desperate Housewives and their famous Wisteria Lane is a positive example, as long as they don’t burn down their houses), friendly and fast-reacting police forces and all the nice things in “Mei Guo” (Beautiful Country = USA in Chinese).
We here are much more advanced. China cares about its image.
So, Mr. Tom Cruise, we don’t accept your version of Shanghai. Here we don’t have violent scenes and nobody plays mahjong on the street (I refer to China Daily), let not even think about drying clothes outside. We have laundry drying machines for that (OK, sometimes they don’t work because of the lack of energy in summer, but that’s exceptional).
Of course I am waiting for somebody to get me the 10 kuai unedited version of Mission Impossible III, not the sanitized version – I have been told by a friend the story seems to jump at times and she did not understand what was going on. Also, I want to see this mahjong stuff. What is it actually? Maybe they play it in the USA?
Not to wonder why we can buy all those pirated DVDs here: anti-US propaganda?
Now back to our CCTV series on kungfu and epic battles. Peaceful at least.

The people in charge here are really funny.
The film took off as a success (I did not see it, I’ll wait for a good, full version DVD at 10 kuai). The movie was expected to beat ticket sales of “Titanic”. And then – poof. Gone, just like the Titanic. Well, you see, we need to have more domestic movies in the cinemas (evidently not the ones that get international awards, they are not good for your morals). Of course, the powerful Chinese Patriotic Catholic Church (or something like that) did not like the movie. As we all know the country is now following in the conservative footsteps of the USA and the Church prevails here. No gay marriage, no abortions, etc. Of course you guys don’t know this because you read the malignant foreign press. Wait a bit and we have even neocons here. We sure don’t want “social instability” because of this blasphemous movie.
Of course the brisk ticket sales were only halted once the movie distributor had made its intended minimum profit – because of “declining ticket sales” according to some official sources.
Of course I don’t know what others know or possibly don’t know, but I know I will never really know all I have to know. That’s what Rumsfeld would say, I guess.

According to China Daily (6 June, an auspicious day!), the University of Chicago has identified the cause of road rage, temper outbursts and alike: it is called in medical terms “Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Now we just have to wait for a new Valium or something. There is a great market waiting in China, Beijing in particular. I don’t know if it could help reducing the urge of local driver to use their horn. I actually find most of the local taxi drivers to be rather calm and not yet suffering too much from “IED”, I just don’t know how they do. Maybe Chinese tea helps?
Some day I will need a prescription too but for the moment I still wait to get my drivers license (again). Saves me money on my medical bills for the time being. I was driving in Beijing in the eighties and in Shanghai in the late nineties but looking at the growing traffic chaos I wonder if my nerves could take it. Every day new drivers contribute to the mess – many of them with driver licenses they buy on the black market – no tests needed. I miss the easy and relaxed driving in the US, whatever the Chicago people found out.

Sometimes we lament the awkward statements from the Chinese authorities. They are actually far left behind by Rumsfeld, see here edited excerpts from the International Herald Tribune, 7 June 2006: “Rumsfeld is correct: The truth will get out”:
The defense secretary, by design or despite himself, and more often the latter, is a master of the bon mot. Alas, he is not a master of self-criticism.
It seems that Rumsfeld has a French side.
Ultimately the truth gets out, notwithstanding people’s efforts to the contrary.
– “Simply because you do not have evidence that something exists does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn’t exist.” “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.” “There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns; that is to say there are things that we now know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don’t know.”
– “Freedom’s untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.” Or, in a more succinct exegesis: “Stuff happens.”
– “As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
– “Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.”
– Nov. 19, 2005, in Haditha, Iraq, 24 Iraqi civilians were killed. Rumsfeld is promising clarity: “There’s an investigation going on as to what took place. There’s an investigation going as to what took place after whatever took place.”

I really feel sorry for both the US military, facing a daily nightmare, as well as the Iraqi population. Was it all worth? Is there any light in the tunnel?
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I had just posted the above I received a tip on more Donald Rumsfeld Quotes, follows a shorter version. For the full version go to:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/quotethis/a/rumsfeldquotes.htm
You really don’t need a comics book. You just need to read this:
Memorable Quotes by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld – by Daniel Kurtzman
“I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.”
“We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.”
“We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.” –on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction
“Freedom’s untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.” –on looting in Iraq after the U.S. invasion, adding “stuff happens”
“As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
“I am not going to give you a number for it because it’s not my business to do intelligent work.” -asked to estimate the number of Iraqi insurgents while testifying before Congress
“I believe what I said yesterday. I don’t know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it’s what I said.”
“If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate, necessarily accurate. It might also not be inaccurate, but I’m disinclined to mislead anyone.”
“Well, um, you know, something’s neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose, as Shakespeare said.”
“Secretary Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin’s still learning.”
“Learn to say ‘I don’t know.’ If used when appropriate, it will be often.”
“I don’t know what the facts are but somebody’s certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know.”
“I’m not into this detail stuff. I’m more concepty.”
“I don’t do quagmires.”
“I don’t do diplomacy.”
“I don’t do foreign policy.”
“I don’t do predictions.”
“I don’t do numbers.”
“I don’t do book reviews.”
“If I know the answer I’ll tell you the answer, and if I don’t, I’ll just respond, cleverly.”

Different cultures, different “lucky” days. For the Chinese 6/6/6 (6 June 2006) was considered the luckiest day of the century (they forgot about 6 June 2066?) and couples were marrying in droves – seems 3,000 in Beijing only, according to Beijing Today.
In the western world, 666 is viewed as the sign of the devil (the mark of the Beast). Pregnant women in some western countries were delaying their pregnancy… But for the less serious, they could go to Hell, a tiny city 96 Km west of Detroit in the USA where they could buy T-shirts with 666 or a certificate “they spend a day in Hell” – and have a great party in Hell.
We avoid “13”. For me it has a particular meaning – it all goes wrong that day and later it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes. Our Chinese friends don’t like 4 (= death), so don’t surprised if sometimes there is no 4th floor in the elevators.
But to be (feel) happy, see here what a friend sent me:
A dog asks his master “Where is happiness?”. The master answers “It’s just on the tip of your tail. Just always go ahead and happiness will follow you!”
Pity I don’t have a tail.