Women: better at financial planning

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickl father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
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One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. ‘I may look like just an ordinary man,’ he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit US$ 20 million.’
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Five rules for men to have a happy life!

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5 . It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
gossipingAccording to Chinese tradition, (rich) men are very good at the above and call some of the above “er nai” (second wife).

Illuminating car slippers anyone?

Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet…. Do you wish you could see in the dark?  Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm.

carslippers
OK, I won’t be caught with that but I guess some (US?) consumers might be tempted. “As seen on TV”?

What you always wanted to know!

+ If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
+ If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)
+ The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
+ A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig…)
+ A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I’m still not over the pig.)
+ Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
(Don’t try this at home,maybe at work)
+ The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the. ..?! Good my head grows back quickly!)
+ The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes… Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
+ The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
+ Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…..quality over quantity)
+ Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
+ The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm……)
+ Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
+ Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
+ A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
+ An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that)
+ Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
+ Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)
+ Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)