I don’t know who came up with this but I find a sweet way to look at our Indian friends. Makes them look “real nice”. Wish Chinese people could come up with something similar, leaving a positive impression!

Why Indians cannot be terrorists!!
1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.
2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we’re there
4. We talk with our hands;therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
5. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
6. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
7. We can’t keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
8. We would have put our country’s flag on the windshield.
9. We would have postponed the mission because a cricket match was going on that day
10. We would all have fallen over each other to be in the photograph being taken with one of the hostages.

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2009, the penis will now be taxed according to size:
The brackets are as follows (I don’t understand those inches stuff, calculate yourself!):
– 10 to 12″  – Luxury Tax of $ 300
– 8 to 10″ – Pole Tax – $ 250
– 5 to 8″ – Privilege Tax – $ 150
– 3 to 5″ – Nuisance Tax – $ 30
Notes:
– Males exceeding 12″ must file capital gains.
– Anyone under 3″ is eligible for a tax refund.
– PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION
The IRS did not explain which party voted for the new tax.
I am fortunate not to be IRS-liable.

As time management is important we organized brief stories to save you time in recovering from the 2008 hangover.
# 1
Husband climbs on the bed naked.
Wife: I have a headache.
Husband: Good! I have powdered it with aspirin.
U want to take it orally or as an injection.
# 2
Three fastest means of communication:
1. Telephone
2. Television
3. Tell-a-woman
# 3
Naked girl boarded a taxi. Driver stared.
Girl scolded him, “Never seen a naked girl before?
Driver replied “Yes! Seen many before but wondering where you keep your money to pay taxi fare.”
(Unfortunately, unlikely to happen in Beijing)
# 4
A man called his 4th wife – Baby doll,
3rd wife – China doll,
2nd wife – Barbie doll &
1st wife – Guess What?
– Panadol
# 5
Man admiring his naked body in the mirror says to wife: “Look at that 75 kg of pure dynamite”.
Wife replies: “It is a shame though about the 4 cm fuse”.
(the blog declines any accusation this is connected to Chinese anatomy)
# 6
Friends are like underwear, always near you.
Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. (available in all entertainment outlets in Beijing, it is said)
Best friends are like Viagra, lift you up when you are down.
# 7
Man tell Pastor:
My son’s a drug addict, my daughter’s a prostitute, and my wife’s a gambler.
Pastor: Isn’t there anything positive in your family?
Man: Yes, I am HIV positive.
# 8
What is common between a wife and a private swimming pool??
Answer: The cost of maintenance is too high compared to the time you spend inside them!!!
(Do note that in the case of Baby doll, China doll and Barbie doll costs can even run higher)

Developed in tropical Hainan, after intense research and genetic engineering, Chinese specialists unveiled a new tree species.

This tree is called “meinushu”. It means women tree.
To protect against counterfeiters from Henan Province, the exact location is being kept secret.
A male version has proved to be more difficult to grow. But I am not waiting for it.