Letting Steam Off

2009: you’re not that welcome in China

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

[edited 30 April]
There we go again. In its draconian approach – no people, no foreigners, no trouble makers, no unruly masses – the Chinese Paranoid Brigade has apparently decided the Olympics were great – less people less trouble. So, this year the clean-up is in view of the “celebration” of 60 years China (never mind some other “anniversaries”). Not a celebration for all though, please stay home in your foreign country and watch the military parade on your HDTV with a beer and some chips. Too bad for the business people, the planned seminars and congresses. Some are starting to be postponed. Never mind the hotels, the tourism agencies, the food and beverage sectors. And the export sector. Don’t come to buy your toys in the coming months. Go somewhere else instead and leave us alone here. Screw the recession.
Indeed, all those hoping for their F visas (stands now for F####ing visas), bye bye. The usually super-busy months of September / October will make way for blue skies.
I guess Beijing will again erect its security perimeter around the city. Don’t dream about coming from other provinces into the city. And do not bring washing powder and shampoo. Too dangerous. You non-Beijingers, stay home and watch TV, OK! Cross the border without proper papers and you might get shot (as I learned some days ago in Hebei Province).
Of course expect the denials. Like the ones (Qin Gang, Foreign Ministry spokesman): “Many people have a false impression that the Chinese government fears the Internet. In fact, it is just the opposite”. Yeah, you bet. YouTube gone. And all the others, thanks to the Great Firewall. No fear, just that Chinese are all toddlers sitting in a huge kindergarten. They need to be protected from negative influences.
Shanghai 2010? Another big event without visitors?

no YouTube but at least this, thanks to China Daily

no YouTube but at least this, thanks to China Daily


Well, at least we have China Daily to cheer us up. They also like a good pair of legs and more. Let’s see if the new guys from “The Global Times” come up with more and better.
See here what China Economic Review wrote:
China to boost security ahead of PRC anniversary
29 April 2009
China on Tuesday announced plans to boost public security in preparation for the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People’s Republic of China, AP reported, citing state media. The new security campaign will begin in May in order to ensure “a steady and harmonious social environment” for the anniversary celebrations slated for October. Police will step up efforts to rein in criminal gangs, arrest wanted criminals, and crack down on robberies and phone scams. Local officials have been encouraged to “carry out in-depth patriotic educational activities” which should “guide people to love the party” and recognize the advantages of socialism. Visas for foreigners will also be restricted. China enacted similar security measures in the runup to the Olympic Games in Beijing in August of last year.

Access Asia: no love lost for Haibao

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

Access Asia reported recently on the travails of Shanghai 2010, in its usual caustic sarcarm (they beat me by far!):
And Finally…
If Haibao isn’t Up to the Job,
Perhaps it’s Time to Call to Call Bob?
It appears that, so far, Haibao has proved incapable of saving America from national embarrassment over their tent at the Toxic EXPO. There’s still no cash, except from those guys that invented Post-it Notes. Well, sitting in cinemas with the kids over the Easter holidays, we noticed while snoozing through Monsters Vs Aliens another blue monster type thing who, when called upon, was able to step up and save America – it’s time for B.O.B. to come to the rescue and save Pavilion USA!


All smiles and a nicely dated quaff, but so far useless to the Yankees in their bid to build some sort (come on guys…any sort) of EXPO tent
Fresh from saving America from the aliens meet Bob
It’s time to save EXPO US 2010 – Monsters vs Tight-Arsed Funders
If Haibao is a condom, then Bob must be the…
[note: for some, Haibao looks like a condom! Up to you… And as for Bob… not printable here!]

Letter to China Daily: probably trashed

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

Letter to China Daily – sent on 19 April, obviously dumped.
As we all know, their openness is limited. So are our dinosaurs in the Chinese bureaucracy. The book “China is Unhappy”: Look at yourselves, you are just considered too immature and dumb to be able to access the free press. Dangerous nationalism, a product of ignorance.
The letter:
“Why is China Daily still writing about YouTube as it is unavailable since a long time?  Blocking the site is a short-sighted initiative, typical of the poor PR expertise of those bureaucrats. They only admit their fear and insecurity, showing their weakness to the whole world. Anyway most of Chinese netizens don’t even care about possible “offensive” clips. Or, they must believe Chinese people have to be treated like small kids in a kindergarten. The limitations we all suffer here on the Internet continue to interfere with normal activities.”

The Pope and the Chinese Invisible Wall

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

popecondomWhat do they have in common? A lot sometimes. They can be both silly and good at shooting themselves in the foot.
The Pope, well, how is that possible in the 21st century? He said condoms are “dangerous”, bad etc. Great, let the poor people make kids like rabbits to worsen their poverty. And the others get some of those terrible diseases. We had another great thinker, ex-US president, who was about as sclerotic. Now at least the USA is restarting their family planning projects in places like Africa.
At least here in China they are a bit more clever than that. Yes, yes, prostitution is illegal but in all hotels and “entertainment” places condoms should be available.
090326youtubescmpOf course here we have other sclerotic people. The ones that shut down websites, like now YouTube, dead since many days. And why? For some isolated video clip? Just good enough for all to know about that clip and to show how scared they are.
Homepages at mac.com are dead here since months. Those government dinosaurs will never understand how to deal with PR and world opinion. They waste all their energy and manpower to police the Internet. Does it help? Of course yes – to make them look real paranoid and brainless.
So, China joins the ranks of the “silly-looking countries”, the ones that block the Internet. Nice club to belong to!
So, the Pope and the Dinosaurs should hook up together. They can invite some ultracons from the USA and the Taliban. A lot in common!

More action on the Gongti Strip

Posted on by Gilbert Van Kerckhove

On 28 March 09 China Daily reported the opening of one more disco nightclub on the Gongti Strip, see the full article below, including the pic of what seems to be two “Balinghou”.
I am constantly amazed by the ignorance of some expats and local Chinese on what is really happening in the turbulent Beijing nightlife. I am writing my book on Chinese society and I mention the incredible changes in society with the new “Balinghou and Jiulinghou” generations, I am challenged by those people who often have no clue on how those new generations act and think. Not that all are the same, obviously. But a late night visit to discos in Gongti Xi Lu might be an eye opener. “We Chinese don’t go to bars, we Chinese don’t stay up so late”. Yeah. Just pop up on the Strip at 3 am and you’ll see. As for how they think, well, there are some (other) China Daily articles that might bring a light into your darkness. As I said in one of my recent articles, better to carefully check the younger graduates out before hiring them. Some can be great but some have, as the older (Chinese) generations openly claim “no any responsibility” – including at work.
Going loco @ LA Club: more action on the Gongti Strip
090328-laclub
Making a big splash in the Beijing club scene, Banana (as in GT, Coco and most recently, Babyface) has added a new hotspot to its luxury empire.
LA Club claims to be the city’s “hottest VIP hip-hop club” and hip it certainly is. From its gentle opening at the beginning of March to its scandalously sexy fetish party last Friday, the club blasts out hits from the golden era of disco and funk to the freshest hip-hop tracks of today.
The trendy aims to celebrate the full Gucci-Moet-Cartier hip-hop experience and feed selective urbanites with a taste for celebrating the high life.
With a 1971 Cadillac parked outside, and more than 60,000 faux diamonds and a rotating, elevated dance floor at its center, LA Club is sure to dazzle the eyes and ears of even the most experienced clubber. Banana’s sound engineers have a heart-thumping Turbosound system that makes you want to clap your hands and strut your stuff all night – the DJs keep the dance floor grooving ’till 6 in the mornin’.
The club plans to line up an impressive list of international artists over the coming year. It’s quickly becoming the place to grind with the capital’s beautiful people. If you’ve got money to burn, you’ll definitely want to try out one of the revolving, ultra-deluxe VIP booths, where you can sip on gin and juice, indulge in bottles of Mumm Champagne (at 580 yuan a time), or the two-for-one mixed drinks. LA Club signifies a new height of Beijing clubbing. Hip-hop hooray!
West Road of Workers Stadium, next to COCO Banana.
Story by Carissa Welton, photos provided by LA Club